Satire

F*ckability Status of House of Cards Characters

Oscar Wilde famously said or wrote or whatever that “everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.” Since House of Cards is seemingly about power, it must actually be about sex. So let’s talk about sex. Specifically, let’s talk about the House of Cards characters I’d bang.

I’m specifically talking about the characters, not the actors. This is about whether or not I’d fuck the character in the universe of House of Cards. That being said, the fact that the character is played by the actor is a reality we will take into consideration. Continue reading

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Satire

Top 5 Reasons Fifty Shades of Grey is Great

This is it. All seventeen hours of Ya Shoulda Seen This by Now have been building to this crucial point: Fifty Shades of Grey. I have never seen anything like it and I’m not kidding when I tell you that half way through the film my brain flipped some sort of switch and I started enjoying the flick. I’m serious.

My brain just said “I guess this is what movies are, now. This is what we like.” I can’t explain it any better than it has to be the same feeling that Morgan Spurlock got when filming Super Size Me. After super sized McDonald meal number fourteen his body just said “I guess this is what food is now.”

I don’t have to tell you this movie is bad. You already know that it is bad. All of modern history has told you that it is bad and, in this episode, Frank and I are going to tell you how it is bad. So, I’m going to use this post to tell you why it’s good. Read more after the bump… Continue reading

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