Look, I’m aware that there have been some audio issues with this first batch of six episodes, alright? I don’t think they’re deal breakers but I know that I’m capable of better as the audio producer and engineer on the show. To be honest, I thought you all were going to give me a break on account of being so handsome but now I’m realizing that podcasts seem to be a auditory format. Look, regardless, there have been some things, and those things people didn’t like and, to be frank, I didn’t like them either and I’m getting it together – alright? Lay off.
Remember those old Marine commercials? “The Few. The Proud. The Marines?” You know, where there would be a dude dressed like a 19th century British soldier with a really skinny sword. It was kind of like a fencing sword. It looked like a sword with anorexia. The commercial followed this dude and his bitchy sword as he scaled a volcano, stepped foot onto the precipice, and then battled a huge lava monster. Then some disembodied voice said “The Few. The Proud. The Marines?” It sounds like I made that shit up. Look it up, it’s true. That was the shit propaganda fed into our minds as children. Typically, right after a Gushers commercial where a child would eat a gusher, have their head turn into whatever flavor of gusher they ate, grape, banana, apple, whatever; only to then have their heads explode. The thesis was that this explosion occurred on account of flavor. Look, my point is that producing these first six episodes felt like that commercial.
The episodes had one microphone, often it had grounding issues, that all got EQ’d and remastered and then compressed into these “first draft” files that I sent to Frank and then, immediately after, my hard drive crashed and I lost all of the master files. It’s like making a dinner, setting aside a small portion of that as a general taster, only to lose your pot and ingredients half way through. I was forced to EQ MP3’s of episodes that I had only roughly mixed before they were compressed – only to give Frank an initial compression.
My point is that, even though these episodes aren’t bad in terms of quality (in fact, many of them are quite good), many of them could have been way, way worse. So, hey, if some of the issues in the first six bug you, know the following:
- We have resolved these issues. The podcast is going to sound much better going into the back six of this first series.
- I did my best.
- Kiss my ass.